Ramblings On Why I Started Blogging

So, Day 2 of my blogging aventures. I have a feeling this is going to become my very best friend- one who will always listen and allow me to speak, 24-7. So the real reason I've started blogging is because my husband and I are not on speaking terms as of....hmm,...Friday, a week ago! Yup! That's my husband. He can go on a silent war for weeks and weeks until I finally give in. I'm just not made that way. I've only lasted this long because I have been so sick of how immature he has been acting. (they say ALL MEN are immature!) So at night I've been needing an outlet so that I don't go ballistic over the mental torture of his silent treatment. I've wanted to see whether he cares enough for me/us to initiate reconciliation between us but every night I wait for him and every night my expectations FAIL. He'd rather play games on his PS3 than fix things between us. It saddens me that I have to release my frustrations over the internet.- shows how desperate I am for someone to hear me. Every woman wants and need to be rescued especially during desolate times. It is at times like this when I, personally, need reassurance from my husband, but again- not going to happen. I wish I would have been blogging on happier events, but I guess I have to learn to accept that my knight in shining armour isn't always going to come to my rescue. Curse you, fairytale movies, for falsifying love relationships! :D I guess, maybe, I'm the one who needs growing up...growing up out of the deception of fairytale movies believing that love relationships will ALWAYS be romantic, adventurous, and exciting. Shame on me.

A Problem Shared Is A Problem Halved

Let me tell you a little about me. I am a full-time young mother of two awesome kids and have been married for almost 9 years. After marrying, I moved to another country, left my entire life- career, family and friends, to be with my Prince Charming. I over-estimated myself and didn't think twice about what I was getting into. I did it for….tada……LOVE! As they say "Love is blind". Well, here I am nearly 9years down the road of marital happily-ever-after. NOT! All those married people who encouraged me so enthusiastically to marry left out a huge important part about it- IT IS NOT ALL BED OF ROSES!!! To those who said, "Oh, you’ll be so happy together!!", "You're a match made in heaven!", "What great news!"--LIARS! Did you forget the part where you suffered the first decade, lost your identity, cried yourself to sleep from loneliness, insecurity, aloneness, and more loneliness? I don't really blame anyone for my decision but I do hold the “so-called experts” responsible for withheld information about the reality of marriage. I know marriage is a wonderful thing to celebrate and it IS good news and most marriages have numerous happy memories but we forget to relay that there will also be lots of bumps and heavy obstacles along the road to "Happy Land". Nothing good or successful is ever achieved without paying a great price, and maybe it is best that the surrounding company get so caught up in the romance of weddings that they forget to tell the bride and groom the whole truth of marriage because otherwise no one will ever want to commit (which sadly is already happening today). I mean, the truth is (and I really mean this) marriage IS a beautiful union of two people committing to one another for eternity regardless the sudden, shocking and ugly discovery about each other,…but in that same truth are also days and nights of disappointments, senseless quarrels, arguments, and loneliness. The truth is your spouse does not and never will make you complete. No human being can ever fill such a deep place in you, only something greater and bigger can fulfill us. I’ve come to understand that we must enter into a marriage equipped with FORGIVENESS and ACCEPTANCE of this person as they are, or at least ready to. The truth is marriage isn’t for the purpose of receiving for ourselves but for the purpose of giving of ourselves to our spouse’s need and happiness. Sound fair? Not really, no (actually, it sounds like slavery). Easy enough? Not at all, in fact, I still struggle in applying that self-learned knowledge. After almost a decade, my marriage has not been easy…still searching for that secret ingredient. Don’t know if we’ll ever find it but HOPE must stay alive in this relationship. During one of my many comfortless nights, I listened to a sermon by Charles Stanley about marriage and he stated, “Marriage is the last resort for maturity”.